Looking back at the past
I sat outside in a chair I recently wouldn’t fit in to record a video update. I’ve been having a lot of complex feelings about my journey thus far. While I’ve made fantastic strides in mobility and functionality, I’ve found myself often dwelling on what still can’t be done. In response to this, I decided it was time to revisit some of the content I have from when I started this journey.
I have a folder of published and some unpublished vlogs, audio recordings, and loads of photos. At the end of 2023 I shared my frustrations and goals for making 2024 a year of change. Changes really started small. I began focusing more on swimming and using floaty weights but I knew a lot needed to change to truly make lasting progress.
Unable to avoid the fact that my out-of-control eating habits were holding me back, I decided to write out all my known troubles with food. to try to come up with strategies to tackle them. By the middle of 2024, I got a very lucky break. Already focusing everything I had on making change, I was ready for bolder steps. I decided to hire a trainer for guidance and to rebuilt my mobility. Cautiously optimistic, I realized that this could be the pivot point where I finally begin to see lasting results. Armed with a scale I could actually weigh myself with, I was able to accomplish my first recorded weight loss in a long time.
Of course, this important step didn’t erase all my existing troubles. So much of starting out, and continuing from here is a significant struggle with problems I’ve developed over the years and the consequences of my size. It was enlightening to go back to the start of my journey to reflect. I still very much have many of the same problems and complaints, but I can see the many improvements.
In an early example of gratitude I wrote out the many things I look forward to, some I’ve accomplished already.
Activities
✅ Going up stairs without a thought
Biking
✅ Getting better at cooking
✅ Comfortable with long walks
✅ Doing more things away from home / less hesitant to go outside
Visiting friends abroad / being able to travel generally
Taking on more physical hobbies and crafts
Body-weight exercises
✅ Lunges
Pull ups
Push ups (Working on it!)
✅ Plank
Hand-stands
The little things
Being able to move without having my own body in the way
✅ Standing for longer periods of time
✅ Fitting in ordinary bus benches
✅ Not having to lean on things while doing basic tasks
✅ Getting in and out of cars easier
✅ Putting on shoes & socks
Staying in a clothing size long term
✅ Easier hygiene
No longer living in fear, regret, and pain from my size
Under & Over
✅ Under 500lbs
Under 400lbs ALMOST! (ETA: End of May 2025)
Under 300lbs
✅ Over 100lbs down
Over 200lbs down (ETA: Summer 2025)
Over 300lbs down (ETA: 2026)
Leaving Obesity Class V
I wish I had more writings from these early days. Even now I’m much more comfortable writing out thoughts than being on camera. I’m very glad I decided to start my Walk with me series where I casually share monologues on my journey.
In some ways I find myself having less and less to say, things are moving along and I just need to keep at it. I’m very grateful that many people have found these updates interesting or comforting. It’s great that I at least have a fair bit to look back on. It seems that I should have done a serious retrospective earlier. I am so happy the warmth and sunshine is back
Charts
Special Thanks
When I started doing this I was perfectly willing to keep these updates to relative obscurity on my personal web site. If It was not for the encouragement and kindness from these people I likely wouldn’t have even begun sharing these updates more widely.
I also greatly appreciate the regular thoughtful comments and feedback. It’s very rewarding for this to be more of a dialogue than I ever imagined. It has meant a lot to me to get reassurance and responses to these updates. Please feel no pressure to reply just because I’ve tagged you!
and many others!
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