The first few chapters of my story...
My 2024 weight loss journey: Over 570lbs to under 500
Hello,
I’m Gabriel. You may already know me from my tech freedom publication at the
. That passion isn’t going anywhere, but I have a new mission that I’m taking on. I’ve been encouraged by close friends that I should consider sharing my journey here on Substack. I’ve struggled with being obese my entire adult life. I’ve finally begun to really make progress reversing it in a sustainable way. Hopefully, you’ll find interest in following me through the ups-and-downs of getting there.
So far, I’ve done a great deal to document the journey already. I’ve been sharing updates and mini-podcasts on my personal website. So that means that for many, the best way to stay up-to-date on my progress was to subscribe to the section’s RSS feed on AntennaPod. Moving forward, I’ll be publishing future updates here as well, so by subscribing you won’t miss out on anything.
Why “micro-dosing failure”?
One of the biggest barriers I had to reversing course was the fear of failure. Failure is inevitable in life, and you can only make genuine progress by overcoming your fear of failure. Of course, it’s very challenging to fix a massive and complex problem all at once, so you’ll need to make gradual improvements that build up over time. Each of these improvements will have you face-to-face with some form of failure or disappointment. One of the biggest hurdles I had to get over was accepting that I had to get better at pushing through failures than letting my fear of them paralyze me from making any progress.
I think for many people who are “stuck” in life, “micro-dosing failure” is a helpful way to gain confidence. Deliberately taking on small challenges to build up a tolerance for self-disappointment can go a long way to build up motivation and discipline. This is not my first time attempting to lose weight, when I was much lighter I lost 80lbs. Unfortunately, as I gained the weight back I also acquired many new problems that made me feel helpless to reverse the situation. Being armed with the ability to take on failure, I am more confident than ever that I can actually make it to a healthy weight and stay there.
I have a long way to go, and there will be many challenges on the way down. I have never felt more capable and more eager to push as hard as I can. It is clear to me that I have already built up quite a bit of tolerance to small hiccups, and that I will be able to recover from whatever this journey will throw at me. Learning to embrace the fact that this is a “marathon, and not a sprint” has helped me plan for longer-term success.
Why am I doing this?
Why I would want to return to a healthy body weight is intuitively obvious. But since my 2023 New Year’s Resolutions I also wrote that I wanted to document the process. Sharing this with the world is a pretty solid way of staying accountable, but I also never want to forget what it was like getting this way. While I’m sure many would love to forget this terrible ordeal, I want to keep it in mind as a constant reminder to be kind to others even when it’s difficult. I don’t mean kindness in an enabling sense, but rather giving the whole truth from a place of compassion.
I’m well aware that there are many others like me, who may be in even worse circumstances. I’ll do everything I can do to help them wrestle with their difficulties through sharing my experience. By living as an example, I wish to show others that even extremely dire circumstances aren’t hopeless. We would all be better off if we recognized that this is a solvable problem with the right support and dedication. My hope is that sharing my experience will lead to many people getting inspired or having the right conversations. By succeeding to return (and maintain) a healthy body weight, I hope I can inspire others to break free from the same troubles I’m in.
Obesity, but especially severe obesity is a very difficult topic. It’s taken me quite a bit to be able to discuss my situation candidly. I’m in a unique position to help others understand what others would be ashamed to even share. I wasn’t expecting so many people to tell me that I’m inspiring already. The truth is, despite making the scale go down I don’t really feel like I’ve accomplished much. Some of it is vanity, a lot of it is impatience, but my remaining impairments are a very grave reminder that there is a lot of work to do. This is something I really want to do a better job at sharing. The emotional difficulties don’t end when one starts moving forward. One of the bigger challenges I’ve faced is actually appreciating the victories and letting the good moments sink in.
The change I want to be in the world is to provide an understanding compassionate voice to those in similar situations, without sacrificing on the truth. Like in many other areas of life, the public discussion is woefully unhelpful for people in complex situations. To the best of my ability, I don’t want to hide the stark realities of obesity for the sake of comfort. The plan is to take a ‘no nonsense’ approach of discussing what it takes to overcome this, with the understanding of what it’s like to be in this situation.
How did I get this big?
Over many years, I’ve prioritized immediate comfort or ‘productivity’ over essential healthy habits. Various life circumstances accentuated already terrible habits into self-destructive behaviors. Denial goes a long way to allow serious problems to fester as they grow out of control. Obesity is not only a challenge for the individual, but also applies pressures to their loved ones. This brings an immense amount of shame and even self-hatred that creates a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
The really short explanation is that I’ve neglected the basics for far too long and I’m suffering the consequences.
What am I doing about it?
In 2022 & 2023, my basic mobility had taken a dangerous nose-dive. It already wasn’t great but things got much more difficult than they already were quickly. Since 2023 I had started working on my mobility. Walking as often as possible, going swimming whenever I could, these both made a big difference. I learned however, that I wasn’t quite able to do these enough to really make a dent on my size. I had already grown larger than the scale at home so I was somewhat in the dark about how much worse things had gotten.
During early 2024, a family tragedy put me face-to-face with my emotional challenges. I was desperate to end the cycle of self-hatred and suffering but lacked the knowledge or tools to do it. I had tried many things, but what had ultimately made the biggest difference was the hardest read of my life. Dr
’s book Guilt, Shame, and Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming Negative Emotions was a lifesaver.
Reading that book helped me better understand the patterns I was in, and how my life circumstances had played into them. For the first time in a long time I truly felt like it was possible for me to change for the better. In taking the time to understand my problems and how they built my situation, I realized that I had begun the journey to permanent change. My weight loss journey was no longer a never-ending horrifying nightmare, but a problem I can begin to gradually address. While this helped me tackle many of my challenges, it was not enough to begin actually losing weight. Without a scale to measure myself, I had no idea what was working, and I was still struggling to reduce my calorie intake.
Finally late in Summer of 2024, I hit a very lucky break. I decided to take on a gamble and hire a personal trainer to not only improve my mobility, but to help me get serious about resolving my weight. I can personally attest that this has been the best investment I could make. It was a leap of faith, as I had to burn what remained of my savings to make it happen but things are going marvelously. My personal trainer is a massive help, and I’ve learned a great deal working with him. I couldn’t ask for a better community than the welcoming people at the gym I’m signed up with.
As I become more capable, it makes making other good decisions easier as well. I’ve been working on cooking for myself. I find that appreciating the effort it takes to prepare meals helpful in building confidence and perspective. I no longer feel confined to “ordering in” and can instead prepare something healthy. I am looking forward to taking on more practical skills as I become more able-bodied, and I very dearly miss activities like biking.
How is it going?
Better than I could have dreamed a year ago, that’s for sure. I have been astonished at what I am able to accomplish now that things are finally starting to come together. I was able to lose 30lbs in a single month during the Fall, but Winter is very much turning out to be its own challenge. Despite losing weight slower, this December is shaping up to be the best I’ve had my entire adult life. Despite significant pain and troubles, I am actually managing to lose weight in the Winter, which is a miraculous change from previous years.
At the time of writing this, I’m down 90lbs. Exceeding my previous weight loss attempt in 2016 by 10lbs. I still have much further to go. I’m not exactly sure what an ideal body weight for me would be, but my long-term goal is to hit 15% body fat. Generous napkin math puts me at around 52% body fat. At minimum, I need to lose at least another 250lbs. I am grateful that this no longer feels like an insurmountable obstacle, but something I can meaningfully work towards.
The plan is to do the best I can during the Winter, but I’m excited to really challenge myself when the warmer weather begins. I believe that I can make 2025 an even more transformative year given the right effort. I’m finally at the point where I feel I have hit ‘escape velocity’ where I am confident I can make consistent progress. This process is incredibly challenging, but also occasionally incredibly rewarding. I feel as though I’ve been re-introduced to myself and able to accomplish things I never thought possible.
God willing, I will be very close to a healthy weight in 2026. Despite not being very “loud” about my process until now, I’ve gotten a great deal of encouragement and support from friends and strangers alike. I am humbled by the kindness of others, and actively seek ways to pay it forward. It’s one of the things that excites me the most about completing this journey; the more capable I become, the more help I can be for others.
Inspiration
I would highly recommend you check out my collection of motivational memes. I always appreciate finding new ones. I regularly re-watch them to keep fear and despair at bay. It turns out, that the inspirational stories of others that got me moving are the very same inspiration for me to share as much as I can about this journey.
Feel free to ask anything!
The purpose of this project is to be as open as I can be. If you have any questions I’m happy to answer whatever I can. I hope you’ll appreciate these updates moving forward. Thanks for joining me on this wild journey.
That's extremely inspiring. Every day as small steps. Wishing you the best with your journey. :-)
I'm rooting for you, Gabriel! My first introduction to politics was in 2009 when I volunteered to be on a school Wellness Committee to try to help stop the childhood obesity epidemic, which is especially bad in my rural area. I discovered the school lunch program was designed to benefit industrial agriculture and to get children to eat the most unhealthy food possible. I started questioning all regulations and now I am deeply involved in different aspects of politics. It was a difficult thing to realize that many "experts" were actually harming kids, who don't stand a chance against all the propaganda and marketing. I hope the whole country can go on a journey similar to yours.