13 Comments
User's avatar
ExcessDeathsAU's avatar

>I don’t have a clear idea of how I’ll look as I approach my target.

Very much like ageing mate ;) Be kind to yourself. And from what I know, trash pandas have big egos. Channel your innner spirit animal!

Expand full comment
Sane Francisco's avatar

What EDAU said. ☀️

Expand full comment
Ati Petrov's avatar

Ah, Gabriel, your particular struggle is with weight. Other people have the exact same experience in regard to some other challenge. We live in times when our ego is King so we tend to self fixate and lose track of the world around. Balance this. You do wonderful work for others, it is normal that some of the time you would also tend to your own self.

Not to be preachy, but age is also a factor - as we grow up we become more mindful and notice different things.

Or should I say the progress of time and the natural changes in mind and in body. Your weight is your tool for growth. You measure your success or failure by it, you judge yourself, set goals, work on your deep personal issues through your struggle with weight loss.

It is fascinating to notice how you worry about your future self, how you grieve for the lost parts of you as weight falls off. After all, we gain weight as a result of wanting to take in too much and hold on to it. Similarly to those who hoard money or stuff. But anyone would tell you that if you want balance what comes in has to circulate and go back out. So the loss of weight will open up room for other things to come in.

Watch out for the "shoulds" in life - you are unique and not all shoulds apply to you :-)

Ah, it is so easy to give advice to others and so annoying when someone tells you what to do or tells you what you already know!

All of us that read about your journey are rooting for you and sending lots of love and encouragement. You can't see us, but we are all out there. Cheers, Gabriel!

(PS. - colds are a normal recovery process in the body after a period of physical or usually mental strain. You have had great achievements, which you shared with us, and maybe other issues that bothered you went away and... you got a cold. Recovery requires us to rest and let the body do its thing. It is all good.)

Expand full comment
Gabriel's avatar

You've definitely hit the nail on the head with "wanting to take in too much and hold on to it." I've always struggled with letting go and this seems to be one of many manifestations of it. Thank you Ati for the quality advice and warm encouragement 😊

Expand full comment
CuriousG's avatar

You are doing great and having these feelings as you cruise through the midway point is probably normal. Overthinking is a toughie but probably normal at this phase in a project that takes years and I have confidence you will prevail at everything and anything you want to do (as long as there are no corrupt overlords controlling things) so try not to worry about it. Also keep in mind that when you feel crappy, it’s easier to be hard on yourself.

I think you’re terrific, committed and successful. Keep up all the great work and please feel better soon!

Expand full comment
Gabriel's avatar

Thank you so much. I'll do my best to be more patient with myself.

It's a weird journey for sure. Your kind words mean a great deal 😃

Expand full comment
CuriousG's avatar

Patience is really hard to master in my world but I’m not giving up!

Expand full comment
Visceral Adventure's avatar

Relatable problem, Gabe, for sure. I would almost say that the setbacks necessitate the thirst for your goal. It’s like the universe testing you to see if you really are sure about achieving it. Of course, from an outside perspective, it’s absolutely admirable that you have been able to lose 200 freakin’ pounds!!! I’m cheerleading you on from my corner of the world. Absolutely fierce, friend! (From someone who knows how hard it was to lose a mediocre 80 lbs.)

Expand full comment
Tereza Coraggio's avatar

Oooh that sounds hard, Gabe. This too will pass. With you on the downswings, the upswings.

Expand full comment
April Whalley's avatar

I don't know if this helps but losing significant amounts of weight feels like climbing a mountain and I would say that it's really okay to stop for a while, stay where you are and enjoy the hell out of the view! I always became so fixated on the eventual goal that I didn't acclimate as I went. The result was that I ended up putting all the weight back on.... Twice.... Sigh. I just hadn't taken the time to learn patience and balance and find out who I was at a slimmer body weight and as a consequence I didn't feel secure. I needed my fat suit back to feel normal. It's a cliché to say be kind to yourself but that doesn't make it less true. Because it is a cliché we stop hearing it for some reason. I am still learning what being kind to myself looks like, shedding the many decades of conditioning of what I 'should' be. I hope you can find what being kind to yourself looks like for you. Treading a difficult path teaches us such valuable lessons if we can be brave enough to observe ourselves. You, Gabriel, are brave enough! Respect!

Expand full comment
Gabriel's avatar

That's a very important point. It's really worth remembering that this NOT completely derailing me would be its own victory. I think you're really touching on something important in regards to getting acclimated to the changes, I didn't consider that there was much I could do about it...

Thank you April 😊 this is very helpful and has given me a lot to reflect on.

Expand full comment
Keala Kelly's avatar

Gabriel, you are, even in this moment of discomfort, doing great. Please try not to expect more than you are doing in this moment. Especially when you are not feeling well. Ironically, it just piles on more weight to the weight you are successfully losing. Aloha!

Expand full comment
Gabriel's avatar

Thank you keala 😄 Great to hear from you!

The encouragement means a great deal 🙂

Expand full comment